Mens Needs Solved: 2009

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Tuesday 18 August 2009

Looking For A Job?

Hello All, during this difficult time many millions of people are becoming unemployed!
Well for anyone in the UK i have found a site which can sort that out

www.Cvshark.com

It allows you to upload your CV while employees can search through the database

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Tuesday 30 June 2009

How To Get A Refund For Michael Jacksons Concert.

Now all the fans know they can either get a refund or souvenir tickets, i decided to see if i could register for this before it starts (Tomorrow). So people follow this guide and you can register before everyone else does. I already have :)

  1. Click here this will take you to Ticketmaster customer Service about MJ
  2. Then click on 'Ask A Question'
  3. Fill out the form
  4. Topic needs to be- General Info- Contact Us
  5. Then make sure you say the event name is- Michael Jackson This is it!
  6. In the question part- just simply write "how do i get a refund"
  7. Then click on Continue
  8. This will take you to another form which looks like this
  9. Once again fill out this form where you can choose REFUND or TICKETS
  10. Once filled out simply click CONTINUE
AND SORTED!!!
EASY AS THAT!!
HAVE FUN!

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Friday 26 June 2009

Was MJ Killed?

Read the 911 transcript

911- He's unconscious and he's not breathing?

Caller - Yes, he's not breathing, sir,

911- Okay and he's not conscious either?

Caller - No, he's not conscious sir.

911- All right, Is he on the floor? Where's he at right now.

Caller - He's on the bed, he's on the bed.

911- Okay, let's get him on the floor. Let's get him down to the floor. I'm

going to help you with CPR right now,

What do you notice?
The fact that a qualified medical DR did CPR on a bed? Everyone knows that you need to do CPR on a hard flat surface? Maybe just a mistake in the panic.
BUT

911- Did anybody witness what happened?

Caller - Um. No, just the doctor sir. The doctor's been the only one here.

911- Okay, so did the doctor see what happened?

So the DR was also the only witness? Sounds very dodgy? And now hes missing?


UPDATE! The DR has been found in LA?

Make your own mind up!

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The Show Must Go On!

As a loyal MJ fan and a ticket holder for the opening night of his upcoming tour, i believe the show must go on. MJ would not want all this planning and effort to go to waste, and there are only 1 family that can carry on the show....'The Jackson's'. The Jackson's should come perform in place of MJ, in honour of the fallen star. I know it must be a difficult time for the family and my condolences go out to them, but MJ would only want to go out with one BIG BANG! So a massive concert is what needed in memory of the King of Pop, bringing together the millions of people who fell in love with his music!
R.I.P Michael Jackson
x

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Sony's Comments On MJ Passing Away!

Sony Comments on the Passing of Michael Jackson


NEW YORK, NY – June 25, 2009 – Michael Jackson, one of the most widely beloved entertainers and profoundly influential artists of all-time, leaves an indelible imprint on popular music and culture.

Commenting on his passing, Sir Howard Stringer, Chairman, CEO and President, Sony Corporation, said: "Michael Jackson was a brilliant troubadour for his generation, a genius whose music reflected the passion and creativity of an era. His artistry and magnetism changed the music landscape forever. We have been profoundly affected by his originality, creativity and amazing body of work. The entire Sony family extends our deepest condolences to his family and to the millions of fans around the world who loved him."

Rolf Schmidt-Holtz, CEO, Sony Music Entertainment, said: "Michael Jackson's unsurpassed artistry and beloved music brought joy to every corner of the world. We join today with his millions of fans in expressing our profound sadness and we offer our deepest condolences to his family and loved ones. It was a true privilege for all of us in the Sony Music family to work with one of the most talented superstars in the history of music. We will miss him greatly."

Martin Bandier, Chairman & CEO of Sony/ATV Music Publishing, said: "Michael was the kind of amazing talent that comes along once in a lifetime. He was an incredible recording artist, an insightful businessman, an unmatched performer, and a true icon. To all of us at Sony/ATV Music Publishing, he was also a trusted and passionate partner, who was very proud of our accomplishments. He will be dearly missed. We wish his children and entire family our deepest condolences."

Five of Jackson's solo albums – "Off the Wall," "Thriller," "Bad," "Dangerous" and "HIStory," all with Epic Records, a Sony Music label – are among the top-sellers of all time. During his extraordinary career, he sold an estimated 750 million records worldwide, released 13 No.1 singles and became one of a handful of artists to be inducted twice into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The Guinness Book of World Records recognized Jackson as the Most Successful Entertainer of All Time and "Thriller" as the Biggest Selling Album of All Time. Jackson won 13 Grammy Awards and received the American Music Award's Artist of the Century Award.

Michael Jackson started in the music business at the age of 11 with his brothers as a member of the Jackson 5. In the early 1980s, he defined the art form of music video with such ground-breaking videos as "Billie Jean," "Beat It" and the epic "Thriller." Jackson's sound, style and dance moves inspired subsequent generations of pop, soul, R&B and hip-hop artists.

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Michael Jackson Ticket Infomation



RIP MJ!

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Thursday 25 June 2009

Robots Do Have Sex!

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Tuesday 23 June 2009

Sunday 21 June 2009

Saturday 20 June 2009

Need A Razor!

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Face Plant!

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Why Not To Eat McDonalds

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Friday 19 June 2009

Why Men Dont Wear Thongs!

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LOL Gay Rights

Funny Pictures & Funny Videos

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FAIL!

fail owned pwned pictures
see more Fail Blog

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Thursday 18 June 2009

Sunday 14 June 2009

Bring Back BNBN's!

I want them back! I Miss the advert so one last chance!
Watch it now

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Saturday 13 June 2009

Barbie Song

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WTF!

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Thursday 11 June 2009

Male Road Rage!

What happens when a dappy cow annoys me!
She GETS THE FINGER!!


Why do men get road rage?
What is road rage?

Fellow men, today i will be discussing road rage! Because today while i was driving to college some dappy cow, who was in the lane next to me decided she was going to change lanes. But instead of slowly down and and pulling in behind me, she decided to pull into the side of my car. Yes the dappy women just carelessly pulled into the side of me.
What was the need. OK she may of been in the wrong lane and i can understand that but there was no need just to pull into the side of me. And to top the joke off, she didn't even apologise. She just carried on driving smiling to here happy self.
So being male i used the horn to maximum use, gave her the good old 'finger' and shouted some X rated words. So when we stopped at the lights i carried on my rant at her, and then she just pushed me that bit too far. She looked into the rear mirror and caught my eyes, she then did a 'look' which was a sort of 'WTF is your problem look. Which once again raised my blood pressure. So for the next 10 minutes i carried on muttering to myself calling her the term 'cow' multiple times.
Anyways I'm going to have a well earned beer and a nice chance to relax.
Peace
x

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Monday 8 June 2009

Toy Story 3

Yes even though i will be nearly 19 when it is out, im still excited!
Toy Story 3!

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Friday 5 June 2009

Eugene From Britians Got Talent!

Eugene From Britians Got Talent!
Bloody Funny!!

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Thursday 4 June 2009

Election

Hahahah Funny way to look at today's election!

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MORE TWEETS!

People Follow my boredom hints on twitter! Sign up below and get hourly updates on ways to solve your boredom!!!

Get more exposure for your tweets

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Wednesday 3 June 2009

Bored GAME!!

Bored at work?
Free online Games?
Then play this game. Kept me entertained for a few mintutes
Enjoy




Games at Miniclip.com - Adventures in Italy
Adventures in Italy

Find the hidden objects in the Italian scenes.

Play this free game now!!

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Sunday 31 May 2009

More Followers on Twitter

More Followers on Twitter

Want more followers?
How do i get more followers?
Use twitter to make money?
More traffic to your blog with twitter?

If your interested in using Twitter to make money or gain traffic to your blog then follow these tips!
My favourite is use this
http://twitter.xaviermedia.com/t/Willi_Am
Get 50 followers instantly!

I have got 236 followerd from it in the last week :)
So use it
Peace

x

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Saturday 30 May 2009

MP's Expenses

MP's claiming 2 mortgages!
Wasting the tax payers money!
Bugger off you MP's!
Well as most of the public (including me) now hate most of the MPs because of this expenses rubbish! People claiming money on two homes, because they live outside London. Wake up you knobs, millions of people have to travel to London everyday from across the country? SO what makes them to special that they can allow US to pay for a home, so they don't have to walk more then 10 meters!
Well i have designed a way to make they not have to 'travel' and now allow them to rip us taxpayers off!


Make the twats live in dorms!
Easy this way the MP's dint have to whinge about having to travel, because they can sleep meters away from the work place. It also will not cost the tax payer anything and the best part of it, is the fact it stops them from claiming our hard earned money!

So people of Britain I have created a petition on number 10.co.uk
It is currently being 'reviewed' but once accepted i will post the link!
But here is another petition to get us started just sign it
http://petition.co.uk/make_mps_live_in_dorms_and_stop_this_expense_shit
Peace
x

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Tuesday 26 May 2009

Sex- 10 Things Not To Say

Men love SEX but what dont we want to here. Heres the top 10 things men dont want to here

10. "That was nice."

Did we just leave a community theater production of "Our Town"? If you enjoyed yourself, that's fantastic. In fact, that was probably our only goal during the session. But, please, use any other word to describe it-"hot," "amazing," or "incredible" are good starters.

9. "What wanna do now?"
Often said in conjunction with finished homework, this question makes us thinks you viewed the sex as a chore.

8. "Why'd you stop?"
God must've needed a laugh. That's the only explanation we can think of.

7. "Are you OK?"
If we start crying, forgo the sympathy and just pretend not to notice. Seriously, though -- we're in bliss. The last thing we want is to feel self-conscious.

6. "It's not you, it's me!"
This one is salvageable, because we can reply with, "You're right. You're just too hot for a normal man to handle." Although, chances are we're too busy trying to fashion a noose out of the bed sheets to notice.

5. "Man, I'm starving."
This implies that, the whole time we were trying to please you, you were thinking about food -- which we're not (for once!).

4. "Wanna try again?"
Even the most goal-oriented dudes will shudder at the word "try" as it relates to the bedroom. Between the sheets isn't the place for the Little Engine That Could.

3. "Everyone has an off night."
Off night? Oh, right. Yeah. Too bad you're not the girl we hooked up with last weekend. We rocked her world.

2. "Do you mind if I finish myself?"
Of course not. But, rather than ask permission, just go for it. The show will definitely help stitch up our wounded ego.

1. "It happens to lots of guys."
If you utter this phrase -- the single most abhorred combination of words in the history of spoken language -- then you deserve not to be satisfied.

Help with infomation From here

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Monday 25 May 2009

Swap Shop For Adults

Followers of Mens Needs i am contacting you to tell you of my new and slightly dangerous mission! Remember the guy in America who traded a red paper clip for a house?
Well i thought "i can do that" but of course am aiming a lot lot lot lower!
So i created a new blog>> http://swappershopper.blogspot.com/
Which will be the HQ for this mission!
So to dave you a visit i will post the first post on here aswell!
So people of blogger, help me on this mission!
"

1st Swap

OK fellow bloggers today i start my mission which could cost me my life! Yes it is a dangerous mission but i have taken upon myself to not be an average student and try to bring a bit of colour to my usally dull student life.
So here i offer my latest eBay splurge.
Date?
26th May 2009

What is it?
Canadian 1g .999 fine Silver Bar

How i got it?
From eBay!

Value?
hmmm a couple of pounds, lets say £4!

Picture?



Open To Offers NOW!!
Leave a comment or email me at Swappershopper@hotmail.com"

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MP's Expenses

£100 for 23 light bulbs to be changed?
MP's Costing Us Millions!

Firstly I must say sorry for not updating my blog for a while, firstly my laptop decided to crash and burn and then i had to spend a week on the side of a mountain! But I'm back!
And I'm on the warpath with MP's, who are costing the tax payer millions!
Why the hell should they be allowed to have US pay for there new home, mortgage, travel and even moats in some cases. Its disgusting, if we didn't pay the tax man we would be either fined thousands or end up behind bars. But yet there allowed to not pay tax or allow us to pay it!
They deserve to be shot, they have screwed up the entire country. Were in the worst recession for years but yet they think its is OK to take our few remaining pennies just to make there life a little bit easier! Who gives a poo about them! I could do a better job then them and it wouldn't cost the public a penny!
People need to speak up and vote at the next election, to prove to the stupid MP's that were not going to be taking for Mugs!
Well that's my rant over, hope all my fellow bloggers are OK!
Peace
x

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Wednesday 13 May 2009

Ebay Ebay Ebay

I love eBay!

Ok so recently i have been looking a lot at ebay, I was just curious at why everyone seems to use it. So after looking and just watching i finall decided to create an eBay account 2 days ok.
What a mistake!!!!!
Warning eBay can become addicitve....
So in 2 days i have brought the following

  • 1 A&F Hoodie
  • 1 A&F Polo Shirt
  • 1 Silver Bullion
  • 5 SMaller Silver Bullions


So in 2 days i have spent over £200, so thats £100 a day! On stuff that i really dont need. I understand why i brought the clothes, but why the hell did i but 5 bars of silver?
Because its addictive...So beware eBay is addictive

But if you want to buy a 1 oz Silver Bullion for £20 plus postage
Leave me a comment
:)
Peace
x

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Saturday 9 May 2009

What A Bad Day?!?!?

Grrr some people annoy me. Today has been one of those days were nothings goes well and it end's up my fault. I had 6 customers complain to me today, all for reasons out my control. But Why?
Why do they find the need to have a go at the closest person...when 9 out of 10 times its not there fault. For example today we had a customer ask for something we didn't have in stock. So being the good person i am, i apologised and offered her other products. But this women was not happy!
She firstly said what a shit store it was, and that it was personally my thought we didn't have her wanted product. YES my fault!
As if i sit at home choosing what products to order! So i said I'm sorry and offered her head office's number so she could complain. Was she happy? Nope...still pointed the finger at yours truly.
The worst bit about it, is I'm expected to stand there and take her abuse. All i wanted to do was pick up the nearest heavy object and hit her with it. Just to shut her up!
And because of this one stupid women, I was in a foul mood for the rest of the day...even typing this has started me off on a rant!
I HATE PEOPLE AT TIME!!!!!!
anyways i need a stiff drink, or two.
So Peace
x

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Wednesday 6 May 2009

Bored Bored Bored



Single?

Want to find love?
Thinking of online dating?

Then Visit my friends site and please become a follower
http://findlovewithus.blogspot.com/

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Monday 4 May 2009

I LOVE DIGG!

I have fallen in love with Digg.com
I love the variety of stories and it can keep you amused for hours!
SO people start Digging now! And get this digg to number one!
Peace
Will
x

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Does Corporal Punishment Work?

Corporal Punishment
After watching a Disney film called Holes, it made me think about corporal punishment! If you haven’t seen the film here’s a quick summary.
“When Stanley Yelnats IV (LaBeouf) is wrongfully convicted of stealing, he is sent to 'Camp Green Lake'. At this camp, the Warden (Weaver), and her two henchmen, Mr. Sir (Voight) and Dr. Pendanski (Nelson) command the campmates to dig holes after hole after hole. But for what reason? Stanley plans to find out.”
So while he is searching for the reason why he digs these 5 foot by 5 foot holes, they have to dig one every day. So basically its corporal punishment, but does it work?
Surely you will learn after firstly being embarrassed and secondly after going through lots of pain. So why don’t we have anything like this in England? They do in America with the chain gangs but why not in England? The closest we get here is community service, yes were men in their twenty’s have to build children’s playgrounds without getting paid. Or well there meant to, they really just sit around smoking and occasionally do an hour’s work or so before they have another fag break! So that not a deterrent, but corporal punishment must work!
So I personally believe that England needs to bring it back! We need more houses, so get them to build it? It makes sense and can also dramatically improve the countries problems?

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Sunday 3 May 2009

Bacon Flu!

Forget Swine Flu!
Beware of Bacon Flu!

Everyone is scared about dying from swine flu because a few people have got it and its causing wide spread mayhem but why?
Because of the name? Why call it swine flu? Why not bacon flu?
Bacon flu is such a better name, firstly it actually makes you think of pigs and secondly its a bit more cheerful! Then everyone will think its a bit of a joke and not panic like they are now!
Plus if we call it bacon flu, we can then call it a Ham-demic :)

So lets start this petition today to get the name changed from Swine Flu to Bacon Flu and make the world a happier place!
Peace
x

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Saturday 2 May 2009

Boredom Solved!

How to stop boredom?

Boredom affects all us men and like yesterday, today I am going to give you another few hints on how to end the boring days at work!

  1. Remember those bins that use to have basketball hoop's on top, so you could scrunch your paper into a ball and then take a shot! Well these American chaps have taking it to another level. Replace the paper will a ping-pong ball and the bin with a cup, oh did i mention involving tables and moving objects? Take a look and aspire to become them! They must of been bored and used this as a way to keep entertained! So watch their video and be amazed, just click!
  2. If you work in an office and share a desk or have a desk near you, then play this game! All you have to do it subtly start removing things from there desk! Start small like a few pen's but see hoe far you can get, slowly getting bigger and bigger! Of course timing is essential, but its worth it! You can sit there laughing why he convinces himself he's not going mad!
  3. Visit any of these site:
String Spin Toy:
http://www.zefrank.com/string_spin/sp...

Virtual Bubblewrap:
http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/pop...

BigLongNow (Doors):
http://www.biglongnow.com/

BallOnString:
http://www.geocities.com/clownstaples...

click bored:
http://www.dhteumeuleu.com/dhtml/frac...

Screen Cleaner:
http://www.cleanthescreen.com/screenc...

Elastic Enthusiastic:
http://www.angeloplessas.com/elastice...

Paper Toilet:
http://www.papertoilet.com/

Make My People Sing:
http://www.mypeople.com/sing/index.html

Let Them Sing It For You:
http://www.sr.se/p1/src/sing/

ZoomQuilt 2
http://zoomquilt2.madmindworx.com/zoo...

FutureMe:
http://FutureMe.org

ooooiiii:
http://www.ooooiiii.com

lalalaa:
http://www.lalalaa.com

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Friday 1 May 2009

Think You Have Swine Flu?

Because swine flu is becoming a pandemic, there is now a website that allows you to find out if you have Swine Flu within seconds!
Just click>>>> http://doihaveswineflu.org/


Hahahahahhaa
Peace
x

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Solve Boredom

As a man we all get bored very easily and seem to be able to entertain ourselves easily!
But just in case you are having one of those days were your mind cant do anything and your bored in the office, here are 3 ways to keep entertained at work!

  1. Office Olympics- This is the best way to stop boredom and also keep active, but you needs a few of your mates to join in, otherwise you may look a tad strange. There are many different activities you can do but these are my favourite:
  • Office Chair Race- 2 opponents must power there 'Chariot's' down the corridor to the finish line. You can use any means necessary to slowdown your opponent apart from violence
  • Trash Can Long jump- Line up all the trash cans in you office and all takes bets on how many you can jump over. The person who bets the most has to go first with that amount, if they fail they are out. Carrying on until you have a winner.
  • Office Chair Swamp- You need to borrow as many office chairs as you can (the more the better) and place them all in a tight space or an office is the best. Then you have to get from one end to the other in the fastest time possibly.
This is an amusing way to keep entertained but of-course be careful as i do not take any responsibility for any injuries that may occur during these activities.
For more info on office Olympics visit


2. www.Bored.com as the site's name suggests its for those time's when your on the PC and pretending to do work! It has games, videos, viral and much more

3. Create a blog, why not? Create a blog about how you manage to entertain yourself at work!
Gives you hours of fun and also can bring in some extra money, who knows if your successfully you may even be able to quit and life off your blog.
(any blogs created about office boredom can thank me)

Or of course you could do some work! Could be fun?

Peace
x

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Thursday 30 April 2009

Money Money Money

Greedy People!

Everyone nowadays is so greedy, its all about money!
I have just finished a shift at work and all day everyone is demanding money.
For example some money was accidentally charged for oranges rather then clementines. A grand price total of £1.27!
Yes £1.27!
OK it was a mistake by another member of staff so i said i will give her a refund! So after asking for a receipt, which she doesn't have because she said she didn't need one and walked off, she got moodier.
So following policy i gave her a credit voucher, which was wrong AGAIN! So i said sorry once again and said that i couldn't giver her cash as she has no receipt. But NO wrong again!
So here comes the manager, who also gets an ear full! And just gives her the money just so shes no longer blocking a till!
I just don't understand, it was £1.27! Sure it all ads up but we gave here a credit voucher but no she wanted the cash, so she could hold it!
It just annoys me how people just think I'M wrong even though I'm only following rules!
Some people eh?
Oh well another day over!
Only Years to go :(
Peace

x

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Wednesday 29 April 2009

Top 10's

Ever wanted to know what the top 10 funeral songs were?

I finally found a good site/blog which creates lists of top 10's for different topics. They are a good time filler if you are bored and if you are like me you will not agree and start to think about your own. So if you have a few minutes left to fill, I would advise this site
http://onlytop10s.blogspot.com/

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Tuesday 28 April 2009

How to get fit?

Easy way to get fit!

OK so today, i finally went to the gym! My Gym as it is now known, click here for more info on my gym. I say finally because it was my new years resolution and has taking me exactly nearly 4 months for me to set into the gyming world. And was i surprised at what I had let myself into.
OK so as a man i want to look good and expect to become a 'machine' within a day or two. So after entering the gym (and it did take a while, which i will explain later) i was amazed at the amount of machines i could choose from. So thought I would start easy and go for a nice jog on the tread mill. So started slowly, nice little warm and slowly increased my speed to 4,5,6,7 and stopped at 7.3 but yet still found it easy. How wrong was I!
No body told me that these take a while to speed up, so before i knew it i was sprinting at what must of been 100mph while scrambling for the stop button. After smashing my fist randomly on buttons until the damn machine stopped, I decided time to move on. Hoping no-one noticed.

So after a successfully stint on the rowing machine and a cross trainer, I thought i would enter the 'Strong-Man area'. Surrounded by men in tight tops and biceps's the size of my legs, who by the way were all drinking some shake stuff-apparently makes you more manly as I was told. Once again there were enough machines to feed the 5 thousand and because I'm a gym novice, i was cunningly waiting for other to use selected machines before my attempt. So after standing there staring at other men for about half an hour, I thought i had done a very good workout and would treat myself.
So for lunch went across the road to a certain fast food chain, which we call King Burger. While munching away on my double bacon cheese burger, i decided to end my fitness for this year. Not only have I most likely got a name for myself because of staring at men, I just don't fit in.
So If anyone knows any other way's of getting fit, where I don't have to move or diet!
Then send my way, anyways I'm off to have a shower!
Peace
x

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Monday 27 April 2009

Can Swine Flu Killer?


Swine Flu The Killer!

Well after watching a news article about the newest 'pandemic' that is hitting the country...Swine Flu!
Yes a flu from a pig is starting to kill people, its not a funny subject and as we speak this flu is spreading around the world!
BREAKING NEWS- Swine Flu has hit SPAIN!
So while I'm writing this it just gets worse but i have 2 questions about swine flu?

  • How did it come about?
  • Are the animals getting payback?
OK so the first question, OK we know it was originally passed only from pig to pig (more info here) but how did it manage to get to humans...farmers? NO! I recently watched a programme on BBC3 where 2 normal people decided to live like pigs! Yes live like Pigs! They had to eat, sleep and even talk to these Pigs for 4 days! If you missed it, its here!
People must of seen this and thought i can do that and that's why this swine flu is taking over!

So now for question 2, are the animals getting payback? Don't know if it is only me that has noticed this but slowly the animals are killing humans! First it was cows, they didn't as such kill humans but they destroyed peoples lives and businesses.
Secondly it was Chickens- everyone remembers Bird Flu. It was going to kill millions and take over the country!
Know its Pigs with this swine flu, I'm telling you people that the animals have had enough and are getting revenge on us people.

Who knows what will be next? Dog flu? Cat flu? Fly Flu?

Lets just pray they don't win this war. Its not terrorists anymore its animals we should be scared about!

Peace
x

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Sunday 26 April 2009

Are Men Better Then Women?


Men Vs Women!

This has been one of the longest on going battles/arguments but after yesterdays blog I thought I would do some research into this battle!
And after hours of searching i found 5 reasons why men ARE better, so here goes:

  1. Jesus was a man-Even if you done believe in him, you will have heard about this man. You will have heard all the miracle's he done and in the end died for us. This shows how much of a nice and brave man he was and he was a man. So having the Son of Christ on our side buts us one-nil-up.
  2. Men die younger then women- You are probably thinking why is this good? But if us men decided to live for another 10 years, this means we would get another 10 years worth of benefits, paid by the tax payer. So by us dying at an earlier age saves YOU money.
  3. Women spread hatred- Women hate everything! They hate men, women, clothes, cars, men again, better looking women, old people, young people...just about everything. They hate it if you help and then moan if you don't? So what can we do?
  4. Men don't get pregnant!- As i said is number 2 we save YOU money, but women just want to spend YOUR money. Firstly they live till there 100 then they decide to have 8 kids, 8 kids=8 lots of benefits. Which of course is paid by YOU wonderful people. So by us men not getting pregnant where not only saving you money were also saving the country from more women!
  5. WE HAVE WILLY'S!- This is of course number one! Your bored? Your alone? Your drunk? Your being funny? Willy's give you a reason to solve any problem, you can play with it, you can use it, you can show it. The possibilities are endless for what willy's can do, they just make everyday worth living!

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Saturday 25 April 2009

SEX- Every 7 seconds?


SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX .......SEX
SO after reading an article about men and there thoughts, i remembered this 'fact'. Is it really possible that us men can think about sex every seconds a day?
hmmmm....YES!
So according to this 'fact' we think about sex roughly....
(DRUM ROLL PLEASE)
12,342 times a day!

Just in case u thought i made it up this is how i got this fantastic number:
(Seconds in day: 86,400) divided by (7 seconds:how often we think about it!)
Giving us 12,342.

OK that's a lot of sex even for us men, but come to think about it us men have this magnificent skill of turning any conversation into a sexual topic! I guarantee that at least once today you saw/read something that sent your pulse raising (probably sent something else raising as well :P )

It must be in our genes or something, because I'm sure women don't think about sex over twelve thousand times a day! Come to think of it, i may of just worked out why us men do this and women don't!

This does take in another fact thought, the one about Women saying three times the amount of words as men do per day. (Here) (Does prove it wrong though)
The 'fact' tells us that women just spend all day saying roughly 20,000 words a day while men only say 7,000. Why? Because were busy thinking, yes thinking about sex!
While women are talking, our mind is wondering to a subject about sex :)

So you heard it first! Will I Am has solved one of the longest unanswered questions!

Peace
x

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Friday 24 April 2009

Just Another Day As a Guy


So just another boring day has passed, spent all day creating a route card for our expedition to the Lake District. Yes you must be jealous! So how can i be looking forward to:

  • 5 days worth of walking
  • most likely to rain
  • Sharing tents with other sweaty men
  • No real food-only ration packs
There is only one reason to look forward to it:
  • LADS ON TOUR!
Its weird how men can bond during the planning and (hopefully) during the exped. It amuses me how when you bring a group of men together can turn any aged men into a group of adolescents.
Firstly you become very very camp, acting gay towards each other.
You then draw pictures like you are a 5 year old...
Admit it you have all done this

And then you realise how immature you have been!
The 2 bonding sessions are SEX AND SINGING! All conversations somehow end up with sex involved, either describing experiences, fantasies or it can even go to actually seeing your fellow friends reproductive organ.
Yes as sad as it sounds, some clever person will think its funny to get there willy out and do a windmill!

OK now this last point may just be my friends but singing usually happens. And most of the time it will be a power ballad! You can see our last attempt here!

Still makes me laugh :)
Right if you know of any ways your group bonds leave me a comment :)
Peace
x

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Thursday 23 April 2009

Theft Act 1968! Only for Men?

Wow I just spent 3 hours (thats 3 hours I will never ever get back) learning about the Theft Act 1968. Yes i bet your jealous!

Ok so if your not familiar with this act then it invloves 34 points which outlines 'Theft'.
There are expected things such as theft, handeling stolen goods and theft of fish!
YES I DID SAY THEFT OF FISH!!

There is a rule outling what/where you can take fish and others. It also goes into desribing the thefts of fish...actulyy i will just show you.

"(1) Subject to subparagraph (2) below, a person who unlawfully takes or destroys, or
attempts to take or destroy, any fish in water which is private property or in which there is
any private right of fishery shall on summary conviction be liable to a fine not exceeding
fifty pounds or, for an offence committed after a previous conviction of an offence under
this subparagraph, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding three months or to a fine not
exceeding one hundred pounds or to both.
(2) Subparagraph (1) above shall not apply to taking or destroying fish by angling in
the daytime (that is to say, in the period beginning one hour before sunrise and ending one
hour after sunset); but a person who by angling in the daytime unlawfully takes or destroys,
or attempts to take or destroy, any fish in water which is private property or in which there
is any private right of fishery shall on summary conviction be liable to a fine not exceeding
twenty pounds."


Thats another thing that bored me even more, the language used? I wasnt reading it, just words on a piece of paper! The only part i noticed was the fact they use 'he' to label, so surely this makes all there rules only for men. OK the country is getting a bit sexist but I think this is taking it a bit too far.
Dont you?

Anyways im off to work :)
Peace
xx

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:)

Ok now I am getting into this 'Blogging' I have started another one!
But it is part of this group, any followers will know that I have taking upon myself to get YOU lot to pay for my beer :)
As you are sooo nice :P

Anyway so i have created a blog just for this mission and here it is

http://canmyblogpayforbeer.blogspot.com/

Peace
x

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Wednesday 22 April 2009

Man U Vs Pompey

Man Utd 2 Pompey 0

Rooney only took 9 minutes to make his impact not only on the game but also on the title. It was very good play between Giggs and Anderson, to set up Rooneys tap in. The goal was against the run of play becuase Pompey had started very well.
With only 8 minutes left on the clock Carrick planted the ball in the corner to wrap up the game and maybe the title?
Man U are now 3 points ahead with still a game in hand, I know only one thing and thats the game against Arsenal could have a massive impact on where the title ends up!

Would also like to congratulate Paul Scholes on getting 600 caps, shame hes ginger

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Can a Blog pay for Beer?


As the recession is hitting and were all tightening our belts or needing extra income,
I have decided to see if advertising your blog on certain sites, does give you more views/hits.
I am also looking at seeing that do this views really improve your income?
So i posted this on blog catalog
and am not waiting for No money to role in because i really don't believe more views does mean more money.
OK so I'm starting on the 22nd April and have got 100 views with a grand total of income off $0.00
I will of course keep you updated on how this mission ends up!
So can i get others to pay for my beer?
Peace
x

UPDATE: So far i have raised $0.45 so roughly 30p. Hmmm Wonder what I can buy?

UPDATE: Ok its not going very well so far, i have made a grand total of $0.88 so lets say roughly 70p?
Hmmm

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Football Result : Liverpool 4 Arsenal 4

Wow what a game it was, maybe even game of the season! And its all thanks to a certain Russian playmaker. Andrey Arshavin took the game by the scruff of the neck and was only 2 minutes away from ending Liverpools title shot. The main stat that proves Liverpool need to up there game is:
Shots: 4 Goals:4
How can a team wanting to win the league, allow a stat like that?
Ok, so 2 of Arshavin's goals were unstopable, but the other two, they can only blame there lack luster attempt to defend. Arsenal also shows poor defence during the game, but thats onlt because both teams play in one style: Attack. It was end to end for the entire 96 minutes (yes there was 6 mintues of extra time) And it was the best 90 minutes I have seen in the Premiership for a long time.

Arsenal 4
Arshavin 36, 67, 70, 9o

Liverpool 4
Torres 49
Benayoun 56
Torres 72
Benayoun 90

The only people who didnt enjoy the game was the bookmakers, placing odd's for a 4-4 draw was 500-1. With over 500 people taking that bet, its clear to say the bookies had a bad day.

Peace
x


P.s. Add me on Twitter> https://twitter.com/Willi_Am
P.P.s Game of the day can be found here!

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Blogger Needs Help

Ok I have to admit it, this is a lot lot lot harder then i thought,
So thought I would put it up to my followes on what they want to see
So all ideas are welcome :)
Peace
x

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Tuesday 21 April 2009

Last Hint Before Bed

Ok for all my followers or lackof them, as it seems..
This is the site to keep you happy during your day :)
This is my most used site at the moment just because it has sooo much

Have Fun!!
Peace
x

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Make money from Blogs!

While surfing a few blogs that i regularly update myself on i found this
Could help some of you :)
So another hint for all you men out there...read others and make friends!
(also add me :p )
peace
x

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Solving your first need

Ok i spose it's time to start solving your needs. I have found youtube to be the easiest way to solve most needs.
It helps my boredom
It helps my college work
It helps with everything.

Its rather good for when you miss out on one of those programmes that everyone is talking about at work/college. To catch up just youtube it!
Try it now- search...Do you know about the bird? or find it here
It will keep you laughing for hours (ok maybe minutes)
Peace
x

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First Blog :)

Well I'm now officially a blogger :)
Hmmm, ok this is not as easy as i thought.
Ok well im Will I Am and im creating this blog to give you an insight to my never eventfull life.
The main reason for this blog is to tell you those little things that get me through everyday!
So by telling you these...I can solve your boredom and needs :)

Ok sooo now about me...welll i will be known as Will I Am
and..... (thinking).......ermmmm.....
lets say, you will discover more about me through my blogs.
anyways im off because im going to watch the AFC march to victory!
Peace
x

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