How to get fit?

Easy way to get fit!

OK so today, i finally went to the gym! My Gym as it is now known, click here for more info on my gym. I say finally because it was my new years resolution and has taking me exactly nearly 4 months for me to set into the gyming world. And was i surprised at what I had let myself into.
OK so as a man i want to look good and expect to become a 'machine' within a day or two. So after entering the gym (and it did take a while, which i will explain later) i was amazed at the amount of machines i could choose from. So thought I would start easy and go for a nice jog on the tread mill. So started slowly, nice little warm and slowly increased my speed to 4,5,6,7 and stopped at 7.3 but yet still found it easy. How wrong was I!
No body told me that these take a while to speed up, so before i knew it i was sprinting at what must of been 100mph while scrambling for the stop button. After smashing my fist randomly on buttons until the damn machine stopped, I decided time to move on. Hoping no-one noticed.

So after a successfully stint on the rowing machine and a cross trainer, I thought i would enter the 'Strong-Man area'. Surrounded by men in tight tops and biceps's the size of my legs, who by the way were all drinking some shake stuff-apparently makes you more manly as I was told. Once again there were enough machines to feed the 5 thousand and because I'm a gym novice, i was cunningly waiting for other to use selected machines before my attempt. So after standing there staring at other men for about half an hour, I thought i had done a very good workout and would treat myself.
So for lunch went across the road to a certain fast food chain, which we call King Burger. While munching away on my double bacon cheese burger, i decided to end my fitness for this year. Not only have I most likely got a name for myself because of staring at men, I just don't fit in.
So If anyone knows any other way's of getting fit, where I don't have to move or diet!
Then send my way, anyways I'm off to have a shower!
Peace
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